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Rebecca Jansen
Byrne Robotics Member


Joined: 12 February 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1764
Posted: 04 December 2019 at 6:49pm | IP Logged | 1 post reply

We all know William Shatner and James Doohan came from Canada right? But like, What If Star Trek were Canadian?

A long white arm would come out of the Enterprise's saucer section.

Captain Kirk would order "Sulu, give 'er the warp eh!"

The food replicator would know what poutine was.

There would be a portrait of the Queen in Ten Forward.

Beaver pelt upholstery on the captain's chair.

Spock would always apologize before applying the vulcan pinch.

The tribbles would've been made into ear muffs.

Jean Luc Picard would say "Make it 'appen dat way!"

The Klingons would be defeated by anti-static fabric sheets for the dryer.

There'd be a waiting list for Doctor McCoy to accept any new patients.

Katherine Janeway would have a curling trophy on display.

Terry Fox run on the holodeck, bring some loonies and twonies.

Theme and incidental music by Rush!

Hide The Moose would now be played as Hide The Gorn.

Scotty becomes Newfie, exclaims "Lord 'tunderin jeeziz!"

Everyone will wear a red shirt.

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John Byrne

Imaginary X-Man

Joined: 11 May 2005
Posts: 119054
Posted: 04 December 2019 at 6:54pm | IP Logged | 2 post reply

No.
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Rebecca Jansen
Byrne Robotics Member


Joined: 12 February 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1764
Posted: 04 December 2019 at 7:33pm | IP Logged | 3 post reply

Aw geez, now I'll have to tell Chek-ov (Green Gables) we're going to Maple Alert! I'm so bummed. :^(


:^)


We could get Alex Trebek as 'Q'?


:^|
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Rebecca Jansen
Byrne Robotics Member


Joined: 12 February 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1764
Posted: 05 December 2019 at 1:20pm | IP Logged | 4 post reply

Ah well, there is no Maple Alert. I'll eject the Hawkins Cheezies and Pilsner Old Style core safely off into space while standing at attention to the old theme from Hockey Night In Canada.

But, what if Star Trek had been made by Irwin Allen, or George Lucas... there are possibilities to ponder out there, where no (or probably many a) fan has gone before.... "Doctor Smith has lost another patient! I don't think he's much of a doctor..." "Ensign Jar-Jar to the bridge." The trouble with Ewoks?


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Rob Ocelot
Byrne Robotics Member


Joined: 07 December 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 1187
Posted: 10 December 2019 at 10:46pm | IP Logged | 5 post reply

My only contribution to "What If Star Trek was Canadian"...

Canadian Starfleet would only have two active starships, both of which would be 30 years past their prime hand-me-downs from the Vulcans.   One of the ships would have a sometimes-working phaser and the other would have a screen door retrofitted (because it was a 'good idea' at the time).

:-)
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John Harrison
Byrne Robotics Member


Joined: 27 July 2007
Posts: 1178
Posted: 11 December 2019 at 3:21pm | IP Logged | 6 post reply

Sounds like the Red Green Show in Space
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Greg Kirkman
Byrne Robotics Member


Joined: 12 May 2006
Location: United States
Posts: 15738
Posted: 11 December 2019 at 7:15pm | IP Logged | 7 post reply

Sounds like the Red Green Show in Space
+++++++++++++

Duct tape is the handymanís secret weapon, so Scotty could probably use some during a combat situation.
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Brian Hague
Byrne Robotics Member


Joined: 14 November 2006
Posts: 8515
Posted: 12 December 2019 at 1:20am | IP Logged | 8 post reply

I'm going to assume from the plural in the title of this thread that we are not limited strictly to the initial Canadian "What If" but are instead free to pursue other alternate realities as well... Please correct me if this is in error.

Positing a reality where Roddenberry and the surviving passengers of the plane crash spent time in Italy following their accident, we have Roddenberry tour the country before returning home. While exploring, he comes upon a film crew and strikes up a conversation with some of the creative people there. He is struck by the relative freedom of expression allowed and the speed with which films there are made.

Returning to L.A., he joins the police force, becomes a consultant to televison series, and a writer. Frustrated by various impasses in his career and the lack of vision on the part of the networks when he wants to cast black actors for the proposed series RIVERBOAT, he elects to try his luck in the country he remembers so well. 

In Italy, he makes a small number of Westerns, proving his capability to turn in a solid production. He begins to venture into other genres, creating films about American policemen, lawyers, and a fantastical airship that travels to weird, unmapped countries. This later film catches the attention of Italian film producers who wish to see something similar done with a somewhat larger budget, although still nothing to compare with anything done in Hollywood. Unable to remake the film outright due to rights issues, Roddenberry re-conceives it as a science fiction outing with nutty "transporter" devices and "matter-antimatter propulsion." 

While the artist Roddenberry hires for the production insists upon flaming jets from the rear of the nacelles of the more fancifully designed starship and a glass enclosed materialization chamber, the resulting film proves popular enough that it and its multi-ethnic crew continue to make five or six films together before Roddenberry grows tired of the series and shuts down production to make an Italian Robin Hood and an artfully naughty film about college girls pursued by a murderous and charming professor of theirs. 

Roddenberry enjoys success in his new country making speculative films about self-aware androids seeking enlightenment, investigations into the spooky and supernatural, and post-apocalyptic futures filmed in Italian desert. 

In time, the low-budget Italian cheapies featuring the crew of the starship find their way to American television, airing at four p.m. on channels across the country. International acclaim builds around these cinematic curiosities and the film studio prevails upon him to return to idea, initially with members of the original cast. When they prove troublesome and expensive, he restarts the franchise, placing it further into the future and tells the story of the Next Generation of explorers...

Others come in and build upon his success and Roddenberry is finally too ill to oversee the vast network of strangely inter-related features being churned out by the studio and appearing on Italian television. American TV producers license the rights and make a glossier, more formulaic version for television here, to limited success, with prime-time soap opera and tumultuous affairs dominating the more imaginative elements. Nevertheless, fan interest is there and there's soon talk of bringing the breathless lovers and high-powered, double-dealing space execs of Star Trek to the big screen... While fans wait on tenterhooks, they console themselves with the original series of subtitled, subtly political good fun and white-knuckle adventure films. 


Edited by Brian Hague on 12 December 2019 at 1:21am
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Jack Bohn
Byrne Robotics Member


Joined: 13 July 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 688
Posted: 12 December 2019 at 9:15am | IP Logged | 9 post reply

Brilliant, Brian. No mention of Antonio Margheriti and his quartet of films released in 1966-67? Perhaps they would be better if his studio interviewed Roddenberry and picked his brain for ideas on how to shoot sci-fi on a budget!

Hmm... I know there were hopes for a sequel or follow-on project from the makers of ROBINSON CRUSOE ON MARS (1964), and wasn't there a proposed sequel to WAR OF THE WORLDS by George Pal -- both Paramount. Iin 1963 Stanley Kubrick was beginning to look into making "the proverbial good science-fiction movie," who would be the TV equivalent?

What if Roddenberry were produced by Disney instead of Desilu? Disneyland still had Tomorrowland to advertise... "Davy Crockett to the stars"?
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Rebecca Jansen
Byrne Robotics Member


Joined: 12 February 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1764
Posted: 12 December 2019 at 10:28pm | IP Logged | 10 post reply

By all means, any what ifs welcome from the serious to the profane.

Darren McGavin is Captain of the Space Riverboat! Burt Reynolds is the first 'Number One'! :^)




Edited by Rebecca Jansen on 12 December 2019 at 10:29pm
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Brian Hague
Byrne Robotics Member


Joined: 14 November 2006
Posts: 8515
Posted: 13 December 2019 at 12:15am | IP Logged | 11 post reply

The riverboat in that show was called the Enterprise and the show itself was described as "WAGON TRAIN on the water."

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John Harrison
Byrne Robotics Member


Joined: 27 July 2007
Posts: 1178
Posted: 13 December 2019 at 1:02pm | IP Logged | 12 post reply

Darren McGavin is Captain of the Space Riverboat! Burt Reynolds is the first 'Number One'! 

*****

Well HBO has Avenue 5 coming which looks the Orville and the Love Boat had a baby 


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