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Good thing no one was suggesting that was the case.

James' examples are exactly the kinds of comments people should be attacked for, as these are designed to hurt and belittle. Going after someone for a joke or a pun or a phrase that obviously in no way was intended to insult anyone is just wrong. 

The only thing I would slightly disagree with is saying "Yes, that was not right. I apologize". If there was no intention to belittle or attack, a better answer is "I am sorry you are offended and misconstrued my comments." and leave it at that. Never apologize for something you did not do.  

ITEM: There's insult and unintentional insult. I can think of (and way back when, even used) dozens of intentionally offensive jokes. But in a context where they weren't offensive, e.g., in the back of choir room in high school, waiting to be tested. As an actor, I know one must play to one's audience; but as an actor, I speak every line as someone else wrote it, to have a specific effect.

Bottom line to me is that if you say something in offense, it's offensive and shame on you - even if those offended aren't around. But if one tells a joke intended to be harmless, it might be time to turn down the sensitivity a degree or two.

ITEM: I grew up in a background where I became both a bigot and a misogynist. I had to literally drag myself up by the bootstraps to rise above both of those, and I still fight 'em every day. But walking a mile in someone else's shoes has taught me a lot (including when to turn around after half a mile...) And I've found that sometimes, what seems an insulting comment really isn't. As a grown up*, I can control what I say, and adjust it as necessary. Polish jokes aren't very nice; but I can tell it's funny when I substitute "Martian" for "Pole" and it's still fun. "In the Earth vs Mars war, the Martians would throw grenades at the Earth forces. The Earthmen would pick them up, pull the pins, and throw them back."

*I pass for a grown up in most society.

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Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with this thread? What's with the ridiculous gaslighting? No one was going after anyone. Pointing out that a cringey as fuck dad joke comes with white privilege IS pointing out that the jokester probably did not intend to say what he said. Once again, no one is claiming to be offended or asking Eric to apologize. His joke was blind to the experience of POC's nonstandard names being ridiculed. If he can say, "Hey, I didn't know. Thanks," and move on, or he can carry on. Up to him.

The same jokes about stereotypes within a group take on a different note when told outside the group. My Jewish friends can make self-deprecating jokes about their community, and it can be funny. Because the people making them understand that those are stereotypes. Those same jokes told by non-Jewish people become more problematic. Are they making fun of the stereotypes, or are they being anti-semitic? I don't know.

Insult is still insult. If it was unintentional, then the response should be education and learning. Not telling people to get over it.

Lack of intent doesn't remove harm.

Michael R.: "It's really weird that people who feel the need to tell others to 'turn down the sensitivity' are being super-sensitive about the phrase 'white privilege'."

??? I am not sensitive about white privilege. I have reflected MANY times that I'm in a great spot and I'm a white male. (If I weren't a Jew, I could be a conservative! :) I assure you sir, I am NOT super sensitive.

WARNING: HERE COMES ANOTHER DAD JOKE: And I prefer beef barley.

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That doesn’t preclude you! Such are the vagaries of current tribalism where I’ve been in conversations where a Jewish Trump supporter will be defending an alt-Right Trump supporter while dancing around the latter’s explicit anti-Semitism. “Well he’s right about the liberal elites... except for that Jewish part.”