It's not that I don't like kids (I even used to be one when I was younger). I'm a popular uncle, and inherited a stepson with whom I get on great. I've just never had the desire to sire my own brood. Plus, with a nod to another thread, I've never found babies cute (I'm 56, so that ain't gonna change!).

People are always telling me that I'd be a great dad. It just strikes me that parenthood is a massive life choice that not everyone thinks through before they do it!

Am I missing out?

Still, I can't tell you which one of us has missed out. Probably both and neither. If you're happy, enjoy it! 

(I think being a loving, caring, supportive stepparent is great and, really, if you are that, it's no different from being a biological parent.)

But what annoyed me were people who looked at me like I have two heads when I say I have never wanted children.  I'm either selfish or crazy to not want children in my life.  (Wait until they hear my views on being in a relationship...)  

And it was, of all things, a 1972 episode of "Maude" that made me feel better.  In the episode where Maude is pregnant and is not sure what to do*, her husband Walter admits he has never really wanted children and people said he was crazy or selfish but he just knew.  I was glad to know I wasn't alone.  

*Yes, this is the episode where she decides to terminate the pregnancy but that's as far as it goes.  She does not have an abortion during the episode despite everybody always swearing that's what happened.    

Yep, I've had this too. One could argue that, in a rapidly populating world, it's the least selfish thing to do.

Like Bill, my attention is devoted to fur-babies instead. When I'm out with them at 6am in winter, in the dark and wind and rain, it doesn't feel like I've taken a selfish option!

As a father of 52, I've found the biggest hurdle is not physicality related to my age, but pushing aside a lifetime of habits and wants to better serve him.  For example, since a newborn he's always woken up between 5-6am.  I felt like if that was the time he wanted to face the world, why would I deny him that for even an hour in order for me to sleep in a little longer?  

Read that too quickly and thought... what?!... for a second!

The short of it is, I sincerely believe we wouldn't be in as much of a mess as we are if not for large numbers of people, who should never have become parents, having children. If you don't feel a particular need or desire to be a parent, we're all grateful that you don't.

Parenting shouldn't be an obligation, it should be a calling. It should be something people want to do. The pandemic was very revealing in this way to me, because we saw so many people revolt against lockdowns and whatnot, in no small part because they simply couldn't handle being home around their kids all day. Meanwhile, my son at the time was in kindergarten, and for all the struggles that came with the pandemic, and the losses - and I certainly experienced loss - I will never, ever be anything but grateful for the six months I got to spend with my kid, all day, every day. It was amazing.

The funny thing is, before my wife and I had our son, we'd been together for 12 years, we were in our mid 30's, we were trying but were ok with if we couldn't, and we used to have a somewhat facetious conversation - "do we want a kid, or do we want a villa in France?" Well, we ended up with the kid. It changed my life. He's amazing. Parenthood is not for everyone. 

I married my wife when her daughter was 16. She was a good kid, and pretty much grown, so all the formative parenting had been done. I never particularly felt like her father, though a father figure, at times.  

Fast forward to her graduating high school and college, getting married, and starting a family of her own. 

I am absolutely my 4 (almost 5) year-old grandson's "Poppy" (a name he came up with). I feel like I skipped over a lot of the tough stuff and got right to the really good stuff. He's such a sweet, smart boy. But all boy. Very playful, energetic and rough. I didn't hold him much as a small infant, as I was afraid I'd hurt him. Now, I'm more worried about him hurting me! We have lots of fun, though, and I love him very much.

I don't feel like I've particularly missed out on anything by not having biological children (or grandchildren) of my own. 

As soon as he was old enough to work, things worked out and he's turned out to be a great guy.